Kaleidoscope

I’m thinking it all started with a wish,

A happy one at that.

365 days prior,

I typed my heart out.

 

I remember wanting that first one unique,

Something out of the blue,

Something a lot like me,

The very talkative geek.

 

But now I read it again,

Thinking it was all very genuine and real.

I’ve written many words since then,

Describing you in every shade of teal.

 

So thinking back at it all,

Maybe it started with that meet up,

In restaurant characterised by the sea,

At a time where I really felt completely free.

 

..I used to hear your name and shyly smile.

 

Because in my heart, it lighted a flame;

And it ignited a fire of sleepless nights,

Lost with my heart skipping a mile after a mile.

And yes,

I know that you’re not to blame,

But for me to get that…

It may take a while.

 

You know what is it that I miss?

 

I miss the boy with the ambitions.

I miss the artist with the aimless brush,

The one who wanted to draw worlds with his own conditions.

Because that-

That was the boy I fell for.

That was the you that daily made me blush.

 

Do you know what’s a Kaleidoscope?

It’s what they call a group of butterflies;

It’s what gave me daily hope.

They’d flutter by each time we talk,

And I ask what if I suddenly on that choke?

But hey that’s me,

I ask crazy questions all the time,

And you’d reply with answers that rhyme.

 

I knew too much and too little,

And I always wanted more.

Then we stopped talking,

And the bond went a tad brittle.

But that’s okay, I guess,

It’s not like we’d clean the mess.

 

Had I lost the signs or were they right there?

And when did we agree to part ways?

Because I never got to say goodbye–

Never saw the ‘good’ in there.

I knew life got us caught up by,

But give me an instant where that’s fair.

 

Yes you rode the waves,

And yes I surfed mine too.

But hadn’t I waited for you by the shore?

What else could I’ve done more?

Alone, you built your caves,

And alone, I sat there without a clue.


Hey there beautiful people!

Since good Ol’ Sir Valentine is upon us, I thought I may as well present my own share of chocolate here with this sad love poem. What did you think? My heart kinda broke with that last stanza there, did yours too?

That aside though, allow me to say: Happy Valentine’s Day; and may the odds be ever in your favour!

#ForeverASinglePringle

Midnight Ranter (aka Ayaka)

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Corrupt Me–Blog Tour/Book Review

Three words: That. Was. Intense.

 

 

Howdy ladies and gentlemen!

Alright, so this review is a definite step out of the comfort zone for me; primarily because this book is a New Adult one, a genre that I don’t journey often– perhaps ever– and also because this book was my first ever ARC! The excitement of that alone is a tad overwhelming. But with all that said, I would like to thank the wonderful author, Jillian Quinn–who is one of the sweetest humans on the planet–for giving me the opportunity to review her debut novel. You can find more about her on her website: jillianquinnbooks.com or simply give her a visit over at her blog! Yep, she’s a fellow blogger too! Check it out here.

So let’s see what the novel with the intriguing title is about, shall we?

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I have to say that the synopsis did interest me a bit; not because it has the bad-boy-good-girl vibe, but because it involved the mafia and the criminal underworld and that’s not something that I’ve come across often. Better still, it’s not your usual good-girl-bad-boy novel; simply because Isabelle–Izzie– isn’t a good girl. Not by a far cry.

As I said, this one came across as one hell of an intense read– everything was very heightened compared to what I’m used to. I’m certain, however, that it was a new trial for me, and I can’t say that I didn’t enjoy a few bits from it, like the food mentioned in this book, for instance. Now that was intense, alright (God.. just remembering is making me hungry).

I had a little issue throughout the book where I couldn’t exactly connect with Izzie. Izzie is a bit of a hot-head; someone who’d just go for it and pause to think about the consequences later after the deed is done. She’s rather athletic, smart, intellectual, and very confident in her adventurous lifestyle, generally. Compared to her, I’m in every bit her opposite; but I guess it was refreshing seeing how life would turn out for a character in a novel with those attributes.

I felt as though the relationship between Izzie and Luca was sort of purely physical. There was a definite instant attraction–but they did have a history, so that’s to be put in mind– but I didn’t see them talk about their feelings, really. Yes, in some cases action speaks louder than words, but it’s always healthy to converse too. Personally, I tend to gravitate towards that kind of subtlety, but our couple there preferred it intense.

I guess the book was more centred on how the two came to accept one another in their lives, what with each of them being so very stubborn and their own persons (does that make sense?), so the character development was highlighted there. Luca came across first as your typical hot and irresistible male love interest, but I loved his relationship with his Mother. I liked how he always acknowledged Izzie’s strength and admired her for it; so where I previously would’ve rolled my eyes a bit at the general attention that guy attracted, I now know where the appeal comes from– Luca is more that just a pretty face and I can see a lot of character growth for that guy.

The author’s writing style ranges from modern to classical descriptive, so in some instances it feels as though you’re literally listening in on the character’s thoughts, and in other cases, you’re reading a well-written novel; and that was a great thing to have.

If you want a novel with steamy scenes, a chemical romance with a touch of danger and a general easy-read, this novel is a great candidate. It showed me parts of the world that perhaps I wasn’t entirely aware of: it painted the wild college life and the temptations lust could present to us humans, and that definitely wasn’t something I thought we’d give in to easily, but this book proved me wrong. So it was definitely refreshing seeing all the wild parts us humans have suddenly unleashed on the pages.

Find more info about the novel here~ Goodreads . Amazon . Barnes & Noble


 

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More on the Author!


So is this your type of a read? Would you give it a go? Have you, already?

(Also also, how was my first official ARC review?)

Let me know in the comments below!

Love,

Midnight Ranter (aka Ayaka)

Broken Heart 

A girl texted a guy once. Mid-chat, she asked him whether he had to go or not, and when he told her that he was just about to excuse himself, she told him she had thought so, putting in the broken heart emoji. She wished him good luck with whatever matters he had at hand and before he went, he asked her what the broken heart stood for. She replied saying that it stood for a broken heart. Simple. It stood for a broken heart; because it’s always sad when you have to say goodbye to someone, even online.

You know what he did?

He never saw the message. And that’s why it was broken heart. Because even though with every goodbye comes a new hello, with him, there is never really anything for certain. It’s always a game of guessing, wondering, pondering and inquiring. There’s never a closure.

And that was why it was a broken heart.

Heya! 

This is a short, short piece that just crept up on me out of nowhere. Tell me your thoughts on it, though; I’d love to know whether or not you felt anything for the girl! 

Signed, 

Midnight Ranter (aka Ayaka) 

Of Love I Speak

I sighed and stared up above,
Gazing at the moon.
Was there a story in my love?
‘Yes,’ whispered the gales later at noon.

I sat on a bench and read a book,
Smiling at the teens’ story.
Was there love from a first look?
‘Yes,’ whispered the gales with all glory.

Where was it?
Where was that feeling?
That one that made you feel all lit—
And with bliss on the ground kneeling.

I feel it all shattered,
Broken down into little pieces.
I sometimes even wonder whether it ever mattered,
Especially when I found nothing in its traces.

Of love I speak,
And of it I wonder.
Do we all feel its peak?
Or do we just sit and ponder?

Hullo my most beloved readers! 

What did you think of this one? Did it have you wondering about Love as an emotion? Of it as an experience? Tell me what you thought of it below because I love all of your comments and I look forward to them every time I post:) (they’re basically why I post, I think). 

Signed, 

Midnight Ranter (aka Ayaka) xx 

Love Letter 

I’ll tell you a late April’s lie, but I wish you could believe it because it has never been more of a truth before:

There came a time in everyone’s lives when we just lied back, relaxed under the sun, feeling it’s soft and warm kisses on our skins and thought, ‘Ah, that’s just what it feels like to be in love.’ That’s what most people compare love to: cosiness, gentleness, fluffiness. It’s this general summer-spring feeling; the one that makes you feel crisp and all warm from the inside.

I think that they are wrong. Or at least partially so.

The thing is; love doesn’t make you want to lie down and relax; it doesn’t just make you feel cosy and all filled up. It doesn’t. Loving someone makes you feel as though you want to do everything at once; and literally give it your all. It makes you feel motivated and energised. Loving someone doesn’t make you feel crisp; it makes you feel ignited.

And that’s what it means to love you.

I feel like the world is just a click away; that all I do need is just within my grasp; right by the corner, and the thing is: I don’t feel as though I just want it there, I feel as though I want to work for it. To do all that with my own effort because the outcome is just irreplaceable. What I mean to say is, you, my world, are always just a tap away; you, everything I’d ever need and want, are always there; you’re that light in my darkness, the right path in my maze and the good in a bad day. You’re all that and it took me that long to realise it.

So know that when I tell you to leave, I scream and say stay .

When I look happy when you’re gone, it’s only ever a smile I put on to hide my pain.

When I tell you that I hate you, I mean every word and synonym of its opposite.

That’s all because love is complicated and never simple; so bear with me as I unknot all these feelings I have for you.

Heya lovely readers! 

As I thought, I did feel bad about the shortness of yesterday’s post; and since I’m not coughing at the moment, I thought I’d write a bit of a cheesy something for you all. Now see here, I love cheese but not a big fan of cheesy moments, but this one here is special: it’s a letter from one of my characters to another (nothing personal), so I considered sharing it to hear your thoughts. Therefore, I’d love to see all your comments on it and hope that you’ve liked my special cheese 🙂 


Love, 
Midnight Ranter (aka Ayaka)