Kaleidoscope

I’m thinking it all started with a wish,

A happy one at that.

365 days prior,

I typed my heart out.

 

I remember wanting that first one unique,

Something out of the blue,

Something a lot like me,

The very talkative geek.

 

But now I read it again,

Thinking it was all very genuine and real.

I’ve written many words since then,

Describing you in every shade of teal.

 

So thinking back at it all,

Maybe it started with that meet up,

In restaurant characterised by the sea,

At a time where I really felt completely free.

 

..I used to hear your name and shyly smile.

 

Because in my heart, it lighted a flame;

And it ignited a fire of sleepless nights,

Lost with my heart skipping a mile after a mile.

And yes,

I know that you’re not to blame,

But for me to get that…

It may take a while.

 

You know what is it that I miss?

 

I miss the boy with the ambitions.

I miss the artist with the aimless brush,

The one who wanted to draw worlds with his own conditions.

Because that-

That was the boy I fell for.

That was the you that daily made me blush.

 

Do you know what’s a Kaleidoscope?

It’s what they call a group of butterflies;

It’s what gave me daily hope.

They’d flutter by each time we talk,

And I ask what if I suddenly on that choke?

But hey that’s me,

I ask crazy questions all the time,

And you’d reply with answers that rhyme.

 

I knew too much and too little,

And I always wanted more.

Then we stopped talking,

And the bond went a tad brittle.

But that’s okay, I guess,

It’s not like we’d clean the mess.

 

Had I lost the signs or were they right there?

And when did we agree to part ways?

Because I never got to say goodbye–

Never saw the ‘good’ in there.

I knew life got us caught up by,

But give me an instant where that’s fair.

 

Yes you rode the waves,

And yes I surfed mine too.

But hadn’t I waited for you by the shore?

What else could I’ve done more?

Alone, you built your caves,

And alone, I sat there without a clue.


Hey there beautiful people!

Since good Ol’ Sir Valentine is upon us, I thought I may as well present my own share of chocolate here with this sad love poem. What did you think? My heart kinda broke with that last stanza there, did yours too?

That aside though, allow me to say: Happy Valentine’s Day; and may the odds be ever in your favour!

#ForeverASinglePringle

Midnight Ranter (aka Ayaka)

Favourite Part Of Blogging //FPOB Collab

Imagine yourself standing in a roomful of screaming music. 

Imagine yourself stranded on an island. 

Imagine yourself setting fire with the mere touch of your hand. 

Okay, I know it gets wilder and wilder by the second, but I feel as though that’s the way it is with imagination. But in case you don’t want metaphors and similes, I’ll say it outright:

Did you ever had this one moment, or millions of them, where you had your head filled with all sorts of thoughts, ideas and talks and they felt so loud in there that you could almost see them spilling out in one incoherent bundle of opinions?

Have you ever felt isolated or alone or even as though you had a bubble of your own and you only managed to float around people with it, but never really mingle?

Or have you ever been so passionate about this one thing, be it books, makeup, fashion, words, TV, or anything in between, to the point that you felt as though your passion alone could spark up and ignite worlds once unleashed?

Whether it’s the first, second, third or any other reason, we need an escape. And by that, I don’t strictly mean a way out; I mean a temporary distraction from reality and routine— somewhere to vent out all of this pent up energy. And to me, this blog right here is my haven.

In one epic Collab, 17 bloggers came together to answer one question we all ultimately ask ourselves at one point or the other. What is your favourite part about blogging?

Many would say the community; others would say the vibe; some would say the liberation. Me? I say it’s all that and more in one. It’s this unity that comes with being a blogger and reading blogs in general; it’s seeing that the world is truly round, because we are all from all over the globe and yet meet as though we’ve come a full circle already.

In here, it doesn’t matter whether you’re short, tall, fat, thin, black, white, man or woman. What matters is you’re a human with thoughts, emotions, hobbies and things to say and share and that there’ll always be someone to hear what you have in mind and maybe even agree with you. What matters is that you’re never alone and never will be. And that— that’s my favourite thing about blogging and it’s people.

Therefore, I’d like to thank all of my blogging friends, readers, and viewers—all those who have stopped by at least once and taken a glance at this little nook of mine in the blogosphere and made me feel like I belong.

I’d also like to thank these wonderful fellow bloggers who have come together in this Collab and give them a shoutout because each and every one of them has great content and a very real post on our favourite thing about blogging, one that definitely deserves a read:

 

Shania @ Life As Shania

Mahriya/Train Of Thought @ My Bookish Life

Vivian @ Writing With Style

Evelynn @ Evelynn & Nathalia’s DIY Corner

Joce @ Write Through The Night

Elm @ Just Call Me Elm Or Something

Amethyst @ My Life As Amethyst Extrovert 

Flawed_Silence @ Flawed Silence 

Closet Readers @ Closet Readers

The Stylish Dreamer @ The Stylish Dreamer

Emma @ Book Emma 

My Crazy Obsession with books @ My Crazy Obsession With Books & English 16 

FarahEdz @ The Girl With Coffe 

Lucia R @ Hangout With Lucia 

Pixey @ My xStar Blog

Brookie aka Ellyn Kim @ Brookie Soars 


No one said anything about this bit but.. I want to hear what you love about blogging; so consider this a tag and do it! Tell me about it in the comments or write up a post and let me know because (that’s a secret here) the comments I receive and the talks I have with you people are what makes blogging definitely definitely the best thing on earth~

Love,

Midnight Ranter (aka Ayaka)

Being Blind

Hey there folks!

How’ve you all been doing? I’m hoping good Ol’ Jan has been kind to you– or at least, not very mean.

I come to you with a rather debatable topic today– well, I don’t know if it’s universally so, I just know that I suddenly found it debatable and decided a Rant should solve the issue.

So today my phone pinged up with a text from one of my mates. Curious, I check it to see a narration of a short passage with a moral behind it. The message was something like:

A man married a beautiful lady. He loved everything about her, but as with most attractions, he was always awed by her unearthly beauty, and every time he’d look at her, he’d fall in love just a little bit more, entranced by her charm. So when one day, after he left on tour, his wife developed a sudden skin disease, she believed that with that cursed disease, no one would love her any more. 
On his way back from the tour, however, he met with an accident, and although his life was spared, his sight wasn’t. And so began their new chapter as a blind man and a woman with diminishing beauty. 
 The woman’s love for her husband didn’t waver once despite the hardships that came with caring for a blind man, but, slowly, her disease started taking away her beauty, leaving her a withering flower that kept losing her petals no matter how well you tended for it.
One day, though, she died. Her death brought him great sorrow; leaving the man in a grievous state so deep it almost endeavoured him whole.
He finished all her last rights and wanted to leave that town.
A man from behind called and said, ‘Now how will you be able to walk all alone? All these days your wife used to help you.’
He replied, ‘I am not blind. I was acting,  because if she came to know that I knew that she had skin disease, it would have pained her more than her disease. So I only acted blind. She was the love of my life; and I only wanted to keep her happy.’

The moral there is that sometimes, it is for the better to act blind or ignore someone’s short comings, just to keep them happy.

Whereas I do think that this is a very touching story of what love is and what sacrifices we have to make because we care, I do have a little to add there.

It’s true that highlighting someone’s problem would not make them happy, but ignoring them wouldn’t either. Maybe it works for some people; but definitely not all. I believe that when we care about someone, we embrace them as a whole– with their ups and downs, imperfections, insecurities, quirks and everything in between.

What you do when you care for someone is help them out, not ignore their problems or pretend they’re not there. Yes, some issues can’t be helped, like that lady’s skin disease, but that’s all the more reason to let her know that it’s not the glow of her complexion that makes her pretty, it’s everything else.

My point is, don’t try to be blind for her, but maybe show her that you’re the only person who sees what the whole world can’t: her inner beauty, strength and soul.

Close your eyes and open your heart, I assure you it’d be worth it.

 

Anyone agrees with me here?

 

Midnight Ranter

Untitled

Hey,

Look me in my eyes,

Tell me it’s not true,

Look me in my eyes,

Show me the real you.

 

 

Now,

Remove that mask,

I can handle what’s beneath.

Dare I ask,

What is it you’re afraid I’ll see?

 

 

What am I to do,

When I try and can never let go?

I worry and ponder,

Sit and wonder,

Asking if it’s ever enough.

I’ll fall once,

I’ll fall twice,

But is the third worth a shot?

 

 

If you were a red,

And I was a blue-grey,

Will you set it on fire;

And let this passion burn away?

Will I rain down droplets of hope,

Or will it be despair?

Is your fire a flaming torch,

Or is it a dying flair?

 

 

Why await you to make the move,

When really,

I’ve played it all.

I’ve shown you all my cards,

Now got nothing else to prove.

 

 

So what am I to do,

When I try, and can never let go?

All I do is,

Worry and ponder,

Sit and wonder,

Asking if it’s ever enough.

I’ll fall once,

I’ll fall twice,

But is the third worth a shot?

 

 

Hullo~

The followers count is nearing 80 (or is it 80 already?) Just a few more and I’m hitting the jackpot! 

 

Okay no, maybe not the jackpot but 100 is a very grand number. I’m being hopeful. 

Anyhow, what do you think? It’s supposedly not a poem– this one should be my first attempt at song writing. I get that the chorus should be repeated more but when I tried, it just sounded too.. too much? I don’t know. But what do you think? Should I give this song-writing business more tries or let go entirely? Also, can any of you wonderful humans suggest a song name? I couldn’t come up with any *sad sigh*

Have a blissful day, 

Midnight Ranter (aka Ayaka) 

 

The Rose and the Dagger (The Wrath and the Dawn #2)– Book Review

I feel like writing the review for this is a spoiler for the first…

ANYHOW. I have to; I feel like I literally can’t move on. God have mercy on our souls, seriously; for this is addiction and I’m afraid I don’t even want it to stop.

 

Just warning everyone now: This is a review for the sequel, so it naturally contains minor– or major, depending on you point of view– spoilers for the first book, so if you haven’t read the first, I don’t suggest that you ruin its beauty by spoiling yourself, really. It’s too precious. SO GO READ THE FIRST BOOK AND JOIN ME HERE LATER SO WE COULD SQUEAL TOGETHER!

****

“Two stubborn lovers, protecting each other from the very same threat.”

Shahrzad’s land was no longer the way it has always been. The king she once believed was a monster was, in fact, a beautiful, tortured boy with a curse that chained him and his city. Her land had turned into a divided kingdom with people dying left and right, and with other people brewing up storms of their own inside. A war was approaching, and Shahrzad had to do everything in her power to prevent the destruction of those she loved and held dear.

Forced away from the arms of her husband, Shahrzad is whisked off back into the Sea of Sand, surrounded by her family and friends and yet knowing and feeling that she didn’t belong there in the desert anymore. Not when they were plotting the downfall of her husband. Not with so much hatred suffused in the air.

“Destiny was for fools. Sharzad would not wait for her life to happen. She would make it happen.”

With the help of the growing magic in her veins, she strikes out on her own to end both the terrible curse that had enveloped Khalid for years on and the brewing war once and for all. But staying alive in a desert filled with enemies was a much more challenging task than she thought.

This book is far more action-packed compared to the first, and we get to see so much character growth in such a small period of time that it’s truly magnificent. It is a story of survival, magic, war, power and the thin, veiled line, that distinguished love from hate.

“It was easy to be good and kind in times of plenty. The trying times were the moments that defined a man.
And love? Love was something that did much to change a person. It brought joy as it brought suffering, and in turn brought about those moments that defined one’s character. Love gave life to the lifeless. It was the greatest of all living powers.
But, as with all things, love had a dark side to it.”

And what about Shahrzad? Will she be able to feel Khalid’s arms again, or will risking everything to get back to her one true love end in tragedy?

I rooted for these characters in every turn of every page. The beauty of it all was that you never knew who was the villain. Who caused all that anguish. And sometimes, it’s not even a matter of who, it’s a question of what. Emotions truly control us, and even though they may be the greatest fuel we could ever hope for, they are sometimes our downfall too, if we allowed our emotions to blind us from what is right and wrong.

I personally don’t believe I have ever been this attached to a book (or  a duology) before. It was so magical, so tender, so breathtakingly wonderful that it left me all crumbled up and aching after I was done.

No, honestly, I’m still drying my tears.

I don’t normally reread, but this? I’d read it a thousand times over and still fall in love with it over and over again.

Have you stumbled upon The Wrath and the Dawn yet? Have you read it already? Loved it as much as I did? Tell me your thoughts below, I love hearing them!

Signed,

Midnight Ranter (aka Ayaka)

The Wrath and The Dawn– Book Review

Beautiful. Simply and utterly so. That’s about the only word that befits this masterpiece.

 

Hullo my lovely readers!

I come to you from faraway lands with yet another tale to tell. More like, one to rally.

 

“It’s inevitable. When you meet the one who makes you smile as you’ve never smiled before, cry as you’ve never cried before… there is nothing to do but fall.” 

 

In a blazing retelling of the known classic A Thousand and One Nights, Renée Ahdieh (bless her soul), brought to life a compelling story of what it means to love, lose yourself to it, and come to terms with the wars that surround you.

In a land bathed in sand, lies a boy-king that inflicts pain upon a new family with each passing dawn. Khalid Ibn al-Rashid, Caliph of Khorasan, the King of Kings, marries a girl each night, only to have her dead come the following dawn.

Such a heart-wrenching tragedy befalls sixteen-year-old Shahrzad, when her childhood best friend, Shiva, is chosen to marry the monstrous king and thus, die the following dawn. Seeking comfort in her sense for vengeance and revenge, Shahrzad volunteers to be the next bride, only that she also vows to live to see the morning sun that follows her wedding.

I will live to see tomorrow’s sunset. Make no mistake. I swear I will live to see as many sunsets as it takes.
And I will kill you.
With my own hands.”

Putting her plan into action, supplied with the sheer force of hatred she felt for the murderer who dared call himself king, Shahrzad beguiles him by narrating a tale woven by her entrancing abilities as a storyteller. Intrigued, Khalid listened as she built a world of wonders and possibilities in front of him, with words so carefully chosen and picked that they left no room for anything but bewitchment. Wickedly, however, she stopped midway with the threat of the rising sun, and when he demanded that she continues her tale, she promises that she would–

 

Only that she would do so the following night. If she was allowed another night.

 

And surprising both himself and her, Khalid agrees. Just one more night.

 

Shahrzad managed more than just that, though. Night and night again, she sat across him, narrating tales long left untold, ones built from her imaginations and other built from messages she wanted to convey. Slowly, however, something that she had definitely not taken into account happened: Khalid, the murderous, cold-blooded killer she had vowed to kill, didn’t seem as monstrous as she had always believed he was. The monster was just a boy. A boy with stories of his own. A tale cloaked in darkness. Incredibly, Shahrzad finds herself falling in love; not just with the mystery behind his fierce ember eyes, but with the words he spoke so carefully, with the actions he took so lovingly, and with every bit of the Caliph she had sworn she’d end. But how could she? Despite her beating heart, she knows that such feelings are nothing but a great betrayal and dishonour to her best friend. To the people she loved and held dear.

 

But what was Shahrzad to do, living with someone she cared for more than she could ever let on? She knew that the truth wasn’t as simple and clear as it seemed; she knew that there must’ve been something more to the story, and so, she resolves to uncover whatever secrets lurk and, despite her love, be ready to take Khalid’s life as retribution for the many lives he’s stolen. She’d have to face the mighty Caliph of Khorasan. The King of Kings. Her beautiful monster.

 

But here’s the question: would their love be greater than the hate? Can their love survive this world of stories and secrets?

 

 

God.. Only upon rereading this was I reminded as to why this wonderful novel became my ‘Favourite’. And believe me, this title has never been in my rankings. I’d talk about the author’s writing style, but in truth, it’s more of a painting style, really. It was utterly entrancing. Captivating. Intoxicating in a way that only made you drown and not want to resurface, for there was such beauty in ever fold of her pages that you just couldn’t leave the story behind. And her characters? They were a story on their own, and I assure you, you’d want to read this book for at least getting  a chance at a glimpse at Shahrzad’s thoughts; for a look into Khalid’s head and for just a taste of his words, for they truly ring in your mind long after you’ve closed the book.

 

“When I was a boy, my mother would tell me that one of the best things in life is the knowledge that our story isn’t over yet. Our story may have come to a close, but your story is still yet to be told. 
Make it a story worthy of you.”

 

Read it. Read it, read it, read it. And tell me what you thought of this beautiful story of hate, revenge, secrets, the love for power, and the power to love.

 

Yours truly,

Midnight Ranter (aka Ayaka)

 

PS. I wanted to vote for the Blogger Awards this year and had a draft at the ready and everything, only to realise that I didn’t know enough people in the community round here to properly vote. So maybe with the year to come, I’d be able to vote after knowing more people in this wonderful realm of words painted on screens. 

Of Love I Speak

I sighed and stared up above,
Gazing at the moon.
Was there a story in my love?
‘Yes,’ whispered the gales later at noon.

I sat on a bench and read a book,
Smiling at the teens’ story.
Was there love from a first look?
‘Yes,’ whispered the gales with all glory.

Where was it?
Where was that feeling?
That one that made you feel all lit—
And with bliss on the ground kneeling.

I feel it all shattered,
Broken down into little pieces.
I sometimes even wonder whether it ever mattered,
Especially when I found nothing in its traces.

Of love I speak,
And of it I wonder.
Do we all feel its peak?
Or do we just sit and ponder?

Hullo my most beloved readers! 

What did you think of this one? Did it have you wondering about Love as an emotion? Of it as an experience? Tell me what you thought of it below because I love all of your comments and I look forward to them every time I post:) (they’re basically why I post, I think). 

Signed, 

Midnight Ranter (aka Ayaka) xx